‘Twilight’ star Kristen Stewart to play Joan Jett

By Stephanie Koppel

A few days ago, I had absolutely no interest in seeing a film about teenage vampires, but as soon as I heard that the film’s star, Kristen Stewart, had been cast as Joan Jett in the upcoming Runaways biopic, I knew I needed to see Twilight.

Stewart’s overall performance wasn’t terrible, but there was one scene at the end where she is stammering and I watched — I watched painfully. The Twilight producers wanted me to cry tears of sorrow here, but I nearly cried tears of laughter. And then I got a little scared — and not because of the creepy blood-sucking stuff. I asked myself: could I ever envision this girl playing the toughest chick in rock ‘n roll? (Let’s review Stewart’s recent appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman).

But then I realized, avid Runaways fans like myself are going to be Stewart’s toughest critics. Even if she’s handled by the most astute stylists — who will replicate Joan’s signature leather getup — and treated by skilled make up artists, who will bury her in eyeliner, we will probably never be satisfied. Even if Stewart becomes our Joan, we’re still going to critique her voice, her swagger and her guitar playing; we’ll probably even dissect her scowl.

In any case, Twilight is an enormous hit; it raked in nearly $70 million in its opening weekend, and as a result, Stewart has gained a huge teen fan base. Almost all of the Twilight fans I interviewed had no idea who Joan Jett was (and the few that did had never heard of The Runaways), yet nearly every single one of them told me they would see The Runaways just because of Stewart’s involvement in it. They are so Kristen-crazy that they’d also run to buy her album if she decided to release one. But this promising legion of Stewart fans may be completely shut out if The Runaways receives an R rating (and sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll have never really been PG).

The Runaways will be directed by famed music video director Floria Sigismondi and executive produced by Joan Jett and Kenny Laguna. Reportedly the filmmakers have secured the music rights. This makes me wonder: will Kristen and the other Runaways actresses lip synch or will they try their hardest to nail “Cherry Bomb”?

“I’d prefer lipsyching so the real Runaways music can be heard and enjoyed by the masses,” said one long-time Runaways fan. The majority of Runaways fans seem to be hoping for the Milli Vanilli route, whereas Kristen Stewart’s fans, unsurprisingly, want to hear her sing in the movie.

Hopefully The Runaways will turn out to be an exciting and accurate account of one of my all-time favorite bands. And since Joan is in the producer’s chair, I know I won’t be disappointed.

So who do you think should round out the rest of Runaways? Which actress do you think is worthy of squeezing into Cherie Currie’s corset?

It’s all about the hits (or is it?)

By Stephanie Koppel

Can you imagine going to a Stones show without getting any “Satisfaction”? How about an Aretha show with no “Respect”? And even if you can’t stand the song—or the singer—you’d probably be a little annoyed if Amy Winehouse did a gig without checking into “Rehab.”

Warrant lead singer, Jani Lane, once said in a VH1 interview: “I could shoot myself in the fucking head for writing ["Cherry Pie"].”

Artists like Lane are aggravated that their careers become entirely defined by a hit song. But if he didn’t write it—or make that equally cheesy video with the hot model who he would later marry—no one would even be talking about his band nearly two decades later.

Go and approach any random ten people on the street, mention the name Joan Jett, and I bet at least half of them will bring up “I Love Rock ‘n Roll.” And how could they not? It topped the Billboard charts for two straight months in 1982 and essentially launched Jett’s solo career. And she’s still performing it live (along with the rest of her hits) over 25 years later.

A few years ago, I sat through soul singer India.Arie’s two hour set, waiting patiently for two of her hit singles (“Brown Skin” and “Video”). She didn’t do either of them. Keep in mind that “Video” had been nominated for four Grammys three years earlier. It’s only her biggest fucking song. The audience didn’t seem too disturbed. I watched as they rose to give her a standing ovation and I was outraged.

The only thing worse than cutting a hit is when a performer butchers their hits. Just last week I witnessed Kenny Lattimore do a HOUSE version of one my favorite R&B songs. Do I even need to explain? It was utterly horrifying.

But back to Joan Jett. “I Love Rock ‘n Roll” is an anthem. As soon as she plays the opening chords, the energy of the crowd completely changes. Everyone leaps to their feet, pumps their fists and sings along. Anyone who buys a ticket to her show expects to hear it. Joan knows this and she’s not a performer who’s going to disappoint. Though some of her die-hard fans see the song as a cue for bathroom break (but that’s another story).

I’m one of the fans who lives for the big finish and for the popular songs.

But how do you feel?