By Eve Naskale
(Editor’s note: We asked Eve to share this story with us after we saw this item about a sewing machine signed by members of Metallica. Big whoop. Eve got John Waters to sign her pink KitchenAid mixer).
The best thing that has ever happened to my dream future kitchen is breast cancer. I know that’s not a nice thing to say, but it’s true. I own a ton of pink kitchen things, and as soon as we can get into a house where a pink kitchen will work, I will put it all out and paint my cabinets pink.
The center piece for said future pink kitchen is Betty Whipple, my Kitchen Aid Artisan Mixer. I don’t get to use it much, but I stroke it lovingly every time I walk by it. Especially now that it’s a marvel of kitsch pop-culture history.
John Waters, the director of cult classics like Pink Flamingos, Hairspray, Serial Mom and (my favorite) A Dirty Shame, came to town to perform his man show called “The Filthy World.” Essentially he goes through the ins and outs of how his crazy ass movies were made, the pitfalls, the insane stories, and people he’s met along the way. Afterwards, there was to be a “memento signing”.
I didn’t want any CDs signed, and I don’t collect DVDs. I have a couple of signed CDs and they just get tucked away along with the rest of my musical library. I did want him to sign something, but I wanted it to be special. I wanted to take something ordinary and create a museum piece. At the risk of ruining it, I decided on Betty Whipple.
At the time I was recovering from a shattered elbow and was in a horrible arm brace, but I put it in a big bag and lugged it along. For those of you who may have one of these mixers, you know they aren’t light. At all. Thankfully I had a couple of friends with my, and they helped me carry it.
When I brought it up to his desk, he didn’t bat an eye. He went after it with his Sharpie. I smacked his hand away and gave him a paint pen I got for this occasion, as I didn’t think a Sharpie signature would last. John happily signed it and did a beautiful job of it. Other than making him switch pens, I don’t even know what I said to him, I was so excited. I was a babbling idiot. As my friends and I walked away with it, I could feel the mad jealousy of fellow John Waters fans who wish they brought their mixers too.
Although I’ve wondered what it would now sell for on eBay, I’ll never know because it will have to be pried from my cold, dead hands. John Waters created an heirloom for me, and I love him even more for that.
Eve Naskale is an avid mountain biker who wants to be the Karaoke Queen of the Universe. She and her husband Daryl and their two dogs are forever renovating their house in St. Petersburg, Florida. One day she dreams of having a pink kitchen and an infinite supply of colorful socks.